Archives for August 2013

Should I be listening to Paul whilst driving?

We just got back from a great holiday in the San Francisco Area We tasted lots of wine in the Napa Valley and then spent a few days in the Yosemite National park. Watching shooting stars, lying on our deck,on an old cattle ranch, in the middle of the bible black night, in the middle of nowhere was "awesome". It seems that it is compulsory in Northern California to say "awesome" at least every 5 mins . I even heard one lad call a view "almost awsome".

But I digress, the voice in our hire car satnav ( Garmin nüvi®) sounded exactly like Paul McKenna, not sure if it was coincidence or if he is doing a little voice-over work on the side, but it was very strange. Whenever Paul nüvi® gave instruction I expected him to follow it up with "Do not use while driving". Next time I listen to his tapes I will then expect him to say "turn right now", and suddenly become a republican.

I spent a lot of time in bookshops whilst I was there, San Francisco has some amazing bookshops, as well as the usual "Boarders" chains there are loads of very cool independent alternative places that seem to combine activism of various types with the sale of new and second-hand books. I looked in every bookshop I visited for something on NLP but found not a single copy of anything by Bandler, Grindler, Michael Neil or Paul nüvi®. It was very odd considering how much of NLP started in the area and that Michael Neil and Paul nüvi® live down the road (OK rather a long one) in LA.

I noticed the Same in Atlanta earlier in the year, is it just my experience or is NLP less popular in the USA?

Nick in dark rainy starless Southampton

Should I be listening to Paul whilst driving?

Any Modeler Out There?

Hi all,

After reading through this thread, I felt like sharing a bit more on what I’ve learned over my 10+ years in NLP. Hopefully, some people will violently disagree with what I’ll say, which will stimulate the conversation even more.

The real friendship begins after we get over the first fight. 😉

I’m blown away by how little attention is given to modeling.

It’s baffling.

On every forum, I read about language patterns and inductions and eye movements and persuasion and nested loops and rep systems and looping feelings and so on.

Most questions revolve around that.

That stuff is so freaking insignificant I can’t understand why so many people are hypnotized by it.

A long time ago, I started my NLP journey like many: with Tony Robbins.

A great many NLP trainers say that what Tony teaches isn’t NLP, that Tony doesn’t know NLP, that Tony doesn’t do NLP.

Only one question enters my mind when I hear that stuff: who gives a fuck?

Honestly, who gives a fuck about NLP?

What’s great about me saying this is that I spend every living hour breathing NLP. I freaking love it.

But as the Merovingian would say:

"Oh yes, it is true. NLP, of course. But this is not a reason, this is not a ‘why.’ NLP itself, its very nature, is means, it is not an end, and so, to care for it is to be looking for a means to do… what?"

As I’ve written on my blog, there’s a big difference between what I call "The Grinder School" and "The Bandler School". Interestingly enough, the Bandler school is more glamorous, more famous, more in-demand.


Because Bandler is a master wordsmith who entrances his audiences with his linguistic flourishes and storytelling wizardry.

I’ll admit, it’s a hell of a show. And I totally appreciate it.

Let’s contrast this with Grinder. Simple guy. No over the top claims. Nothing fancy. Just a former Linguistics university professor.

It would appear, on the surface, that one has a lot to offer and the one doesn’t.

But there’s a catch you pick up on when you approach them from the modeling angle.

The youngest of the two overweight, sick as a dog, ex cocaine addict, who went to trial on murder charges.

The older of the two is healthy and fit as they come, sharp as a pencil and has a record clean as a whistle. He’s also rigorous and demanding of himself and has really high standards of performance. He’s also consistently hired by corporations for serious modeling projects.

Whose personality would you prefer to absorb?

Because it’s going to happen no matter what.

What matters is not the guy’s schpiel.

What matters is who the guy is.

That’s where we come back to Tony Robbins — and anyone else who uses NLP the way he does.

He understood a long time ago that the crux of NLP isn’t the eye accessing cues and representational systems.

It’s modeling.

More specifically, modeling bad motherfuckers.

At this juncture, it’s important to note he trained with Grinder, NOT Bandler.

So, per John Grinder’s suggestion, he modeled firewalking.

And the rest is history.

And investing. And weight loss. And public speaking. And business-building.

While some people still think that Tony is still just a coach or therapist that does stage interventions, it’s way more than that.

He owns and manages a resort. He owns a manages a huge nutraceutical company.

It goes way beyond therapeutic applications of NLP.

All this because he understood that modeling was the whole ball of wax and committed to it.

At that point, everything falls into place.

You use swish patterns to install patterns of excellence distilled from outstanding performers.

You leverage eye accessing cues to track a genius’s mind at work.

You annotate TOTE’s and strategies leveraged to produce incredible results.

But, for the love, let’s not use these models and methods just to figure out why we’re afraid of the dark…

"Oh, it’s because this voice in my head is saying really loud……….."

I’ll never forget when John Grinder told me: "You’re standing on a whale fishing for minnows…"

If this message resonated with you, if you’re into modeling, or you’re committed to making it the center of your NLP practice, send me a private message. I’d love to hook up with you and refine our craft together.



Any Modeler Out There?

Hello and Nice to Meet You!

Hello everybody! I signed up today to get to know more about NLP. I am a beginner interested in an NLP practitioner education and generally all NLP related topics. I would be happy to get in touch with anybody, so feel free to get back to me. Have a great weekend! :)

Hello and Nice to Meet You!

Im Looking for a Good Book to Read on NLP and Seduction, Pua Perhaps

I got into PUA about 1 year ago and stopped studing it, I want to get back into it, So I bought some books, "Dating to Relating" and "The Art of Seduction", im not sure if there any good, havnt had time to look at them yet, What are some good Books or perhaps 1 very good book you would recommomend me? for Seduction PUA NLP or any of those.



Im Looking for a Good Book to Read on NLP and Seduction, Pua Perhaps

Is NLP a Branch of Psychology or Philosophy or Both or Neither Ot Neither AND Both ?

Interesting question.

What does NLP actually do to the culture that practices NLP ?

Some thoughts from the NY Times:

A Return to Tradition – Room for Debate –

"If you had presented this issue to the great figures in the history of philosophy – anyone from Plato to Nietzsche – I suspect that they wouldn’t even have understood what the question could possibly be. Traditionally, no one worried very much about the distinction between philosophy and psychology. Philosophers were just supposed to think, at a very broad and fundamental level, about the nature of the human condition. And, as a matter of course, they were supposed to make use of all the intellectual resources available to them, including psychology, history, literature, and much else besides.

What we are seeing is a growing willingness to just ignore the whole distinction between philosophy and psychology.

Then, in the 20th century, something peculiar happened. Some people began to feel that philosophy should be understood as a highly specialized technical field that could be separated off from the rest of the intellectual world. So there was a growing sense that there could be a discipline of philosophy that simply ignored questions about how human beings actually think and feel and focused instead on questions that could be addressed ‘from the armchair.’ This period strikes me as an aberration, a major departure from the way in which philosophy has traditionally been understood.

I think that what we are seeing now, with the surge of interest in experimental philosophy, is best understood as a return to a more traditional understanding of what philosophy is all about. It seems misleading to describe this new movement in terms of philosophers taking ideas from psychology. Rather, what we see is a growing willingness to just ignore the whole distinction between philosophy and psychology. So these days, there is a band of young philosophers going out and conducting their own studies, collaborating with psychologists, publishing in psychology journals. (Many people in the field don’t even know which researchers are officially supposed to count as philosophers and which as psychologists.)
I find it puzzling that people sometimes regard these recent developments as somehow taking things in a radical new direction. A more natural response would be to say that they are taking things back to their old direction, back to the direction of David Hume’s immortal Treatise of Human Nature (1739), with its subtitle, "Being An Attempt to Introduce the Experimental Method of Reasoning Into Moral Subjects."

Joshua Knobe is an assistant professor of cognitive science and philosophy at Yale University. He studies the role of morality in human cognition.


Philosophers from antiquity to the present have been concerned with the nature of the human mind and agency, the sources of motivation, the relative contributions of reason and passion in human behavior, and the capacity for individuals to exercise conscious control over their lives.

Philosophy remains the only humanistic discipline that really teaches students to think critically and analytically.

Once the scientific revolution of the early modern era reached the human sciences in the late 19th century, a new set of tools became available for assessing the accuracy of claims about these perennial philosophical topics about the mind and action. The idea that philosophical work on these topics could proceed independently of what is now called “cognitive science” — an idea some retrograde philosophers still embrace — is unfortunate. By the same token, cognitive science needs philosophy, to clarify its findings and frame their import.
But the centrality of cognitive science to worthwhile philosophy is orthogonal to the issue of philosophy’s current place in the university. Philosophy has been, for at least 30 years, the most interdisciplinary of all the humanistic disciplines, one that interacts continuously with psychology, biology, physics, linguistics, law, mathematics, and medicine, to name a few of the fields that count philosophers among their active members and contributors.
Despite this, philosophy, like other humanities fields, is under attack at many institutions of higher education. This attack has other causes. The current crisis of capitalism has increased anxiety about the short-term “market value” of all courses of study. That pressure has been felt most keenly at schools more dependent on tuition revenue. While the so-called “elite” universities have uniformly sustained and in some cases increased their commitment to philosophy and other humanities disciplines, other schools have been more short-sighted. I am skeptical that at these schools philosophy informed by cognitive science would stand a better chance of dodging the bullet from administrators consumed with “the bottom line.”
What might help philosophy is the more widespread recognition that philosophy remains the only humanistic discipline that really teaches students to think critically and analytically, which is why philosophy students remain the leading performs on professional school exams like the LSAT. Even in the 21st century, smarts matter — to lawyers, to doctors, to problem-solvers in all fields, as well as to a good life. After nearly 20 years in law teaching, I can confirm that no one is smarter than the serious undergraduate philosophy major. Any school that cuts philosophy might as well put up a sign that says, ‘The smart kids should apply elsewhere.’

Brian Leiter is a professor of law and director of the Center for Law, Philosophy, and Human Values at the University of Chicago. He writes a blog on academic philosophy.

Is NLP a Branch of Psychology or Philosophy or Both or Neither Ot Neither AND Both ?

First Appointment

Had my first appointment with a hypnotist today, the goal being to attain enhanced visualization abilities and anchor various altered states. He spent most of the hour finding out how I think and all that but made a few attempts at enhancing visualization abiltiies and controlling feelings. The latter worked to a certain degree, I anchored a whole body positive feelings to this scratching sound I made in my head but unfortunately I forgot what it sounds like :(

No luck with the visualization. He was telling me to see something then zoom in on it and make it more detailed but all I could see was black so I couldn’t begin to see the picture. I usually visualize with my eyes open using this vague (but highly detailed) secondary layer of vision which does not overlap my actual field of vision. When I close my eyes I use that same method but it becomes apparent how vague it really is. Its like I’m not actually seeing anything but at the same time I am. He told me to see a door on the black screen, behind the door is a vivid picture then told me to step through it but this didn’t work. I get along with the guy and trust him so I suppose this is a good start. Has anyone here induced photographic memory or replicated drug states with NLP/hypnosis?

First Appointment

Anxiety and Insomnia (New Jersey)

Hello everyone, I am new to the community. I have had chronic insomnia for the past 4 years of my life. It started in highschool, when I had been extremely depressed and I think I experienced an anxiety attack during one of my classes. In that experience, I had feelings of intense fear, and helplessness. I believe that I had social anxiety disorder, (I am doing much better socially now that I’m in college). The thoughts racing in my mind that day we’re most likely: "I have no friends", "No one likes me", "I’m not funny or extraverted". But after that day, I could no longer sleep. I feel like something triggered my fight or flight reaction. Highschool was the most painful experience I have ever endured, I abused marijuana compulsively, to get out of my thought process, but as a result, I became a burnout, and physiologically, my brain became depressed. I do not want to take sleeping pills anymore, it will most likely kill me in the long run, and it’s hard to be happy when you are drowsy, and have no energy. I’ve taken sleeping pills for two whole semesters daily, which is absolutely horrible, and I can’t find anyone that can help me with my insomnia. I want to find a NLP practitioner in North Jersey, my home, to help me with my unconscious and anxiety before I sleep. I can’t seem to find any practitioners because all I see are greedy NLP Training Courses, in Google Search. Can anyone please help me out? I have a very serious disease and no one has been capable of helping me at all, and I need to turn to alternative medicines. Please don’t recommend lavender, chamomile, any herb, pills, because I’ve tried them all and they do not work. Yoga, Progressive Muscle Relaxation technique, etc. etc. do not work.

Anxiety and Insomnia (New Jersey)

This is Beautiful

This forum is heavenly, I look forward to reading others experience and what they’ve developed so far. I believe that NLP is an ever evolving understanding of the human capabilities, and I believe that we, as human beings, can do anything. The only problem I’m experiencing at the moment is containing certain emotions, sometimes it feels unhealthy as I might create a monster, hopefully that won’t be the case. I don’t consider my self a beginner with NLP but I’m far away from reaching my limits, I would appreciate any recommendations to further enhance my capabilities.

Thank you,

This is Beautiful

Hi – Looking for Like Minded Souls

Hi – My name is Sandra – I am an NLP practitioner, trainer and coach and am looking for some like minded individuals to connect with.

You can check out my profile to find out a bit more about me or my web site which is and if you fancy saying hello it would be great to hear from you.

Hi – Looking for Like Minded Souls