How to Screw Up Your Goals and Make Sure You Accomplish Absolutely Nothing

I posted this on my blog and people seemed to like it so I am going to post it here as well :) There are some links in it that I don’t have time to remove. I hope that is OK with Chris.

Every time I see it I get the same thought running through my head..” Are they trying to fail?”

Every goal starts out with one simple thing. It does not matter if it is about weight loss, money, meeting someone, cleaning the toilet or even getting out of bed. The very first thing we do is try to imagine what it would be like to be able to do the thing we have chosen as our goal. That is where the self sabotage begins.

Over the years we have perfected the skill of learning and achieving goals. One of the things we is did was find people who were able to do what we wanted to do and design a way of finding out how they did it. One problem though. Most people have no clue about HOW they do what they do. They can tell you the steps. They can tell you how it feels when they are doing it. What they can’t tell you is what they are not consciously aware of. 99% of what is necessary is outside their awareness or just what they imagine they do.

Since they really don’t know they cannot teach it to you. You have to learn several important things.

1. How to get the information from them
2. How to decide what is important and what is junk.
3. How to implement what you have discovered

What does this have to do with screwing up your goals? What most people do is look at other people doing what they are doing. Then they imagine how they do it. Then they fantasize about the results. When they do not get the fantasy results they fall apart. The reason is that they become a victim of their imagination.

Let me give you a quick example. Today on the 3D Mind List someone wrote that they wanted to pick up the phone when relatives answer. They don’t like talking to their relatives and want to be able to do it. I understand how they feel The problem is how they imagine the outcome.

Here is a quote:

“How would I know if this problem was fixed? If I was very comfortable answering calls from anyone and seemed interested to talk to them and about myself. What is the smallest change that would tell me it’s fixed? Answering all calls.”

At first glance that sounds great. If you look closer you can see how his fantasy is impossible to have. He does not just want to be comfortable. He wants to be VERY comfortable. His measure of success is not answering a few calls. He wants to answer ALL calls.

His results are an exaggeration because he things that is what he needs to feel AND that is what other people feel when they are able to do it. His fantasy is amplified by his desperation. His imagination of what other people feel when they do that is completely wrong. So he never gets to his fantasy feeling.

Because he is completely blind about how other people do it he is stuck spinning around and banging into things with no real direction….accomplishing nothing.

People do this all the time. If they want to lose weight they want to lose all of it. If they want to work out they want to do it 2 hours a day every day. If they want to stop smoking they want to never have the urge. If they want to talk to the opposite sex that want to do it with no fear at all. Oh yeah I almost forgot. They want to feel SUPER the whole time!

In the real world those who do these things don’t feel this way.

-They have fear but deal with it differently than those who let it sabotage them.

-They see the process of the goal instead of the result.

– Their feelings about failure are completely different than those who stop at the first bump.

– They feel good all the way through the goal not just when they achieve it.

Look at how that is different than the guy I quoted above.It is a reality based goal that accounts for failure and sometimes…oh dear Tom please don’t say it…it won’t feel good! They don’t hide from the bad feelings they account for them. Since they are expected they are not a surprise. Since they have the attitude that allows them to deal with those things they do not fall apart. Since they score the goal differently they see progress and not failure.

How do I know these things? Well several years ago I was introduced to a concept called Modeling. No I do not dress up and strut down a runway although…never mind. After much study and reading I was able to model absolutely nothing. There was lots of talk about it but no real explanation of how to do it. What I did find was over complicated and overly theoretical. Basically you adopted all the behaviors of someone who did what you wanted to do and then figured out what was not needed. It sucked but I liked the concept.

When we created the 3D Mind we discovered the missing link of the concept of modeling. It became so simple and easy to implement that anyone can do it.

So here are a few ways to screw up your goals

– Imagine that it will feel wonderful all the time
– Make it so extreme that you cannot possibly do it
– Pretend that you will never fail at doing it

It is that simple. I could list more but any of those three will insure that

next year you will be doing that same crap you are doing this year.

Have fun

Tom

How to Screw Up Your Goals and Make Sure You Accomplish Absolutely Nothing

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