Reply to How to Teach Someone to Let Go of Their Fears

Before you engage in such an intervention, find out if :

  • The fear is reasonable (sometimes it may be valuable to be apprehensive, for example walking at midnight in a drug – infested neighborhood known for high homicide rates)
  • Do they really want to get rid of it?

You may be surprised, sometimes they don’t because the fear itself serves a useful function such as avoiding something else or another positive outcome.

Once you had satisfied yourself with these answers ask:

  • How do they know when to feel afraid? Here they give you their criteria
  • How do they know when not to feel afraid?When was the last time they felt it? Now they will give you the context. This is the time you may ask questions about it in order to delineate the meaning of the context (for example, my mother in law opens the door and looks at me. Ok! What is it about her doing that that led you to feel afraid?).

With the last answer you may presume the context was mapped from an event once upon atime where similar map was created – thus the first anchor was set.

  • If they were to teach you how to be afraid, what would you have to do in order to repeat exactly what they had been doing to get into the state of fear. Listen for syntax, synesthesia, strategy.

Now you know what to do as yiu have their model for feeling afraid.

Now, you can reframe the context so that its meaning changes. Use humour if appropriate.

Use submodalities to change the experience of fear. Change the syntax, change the loudness, direction, change the images that came (ea imagine mother in law as a 3 – year old wearing shitty diapers and throwing temper tantrums. Heck. Make her fart too and make the sound loud and compelling).

Use timelines to change the qualities of memories, push the past to the past, bring out of it only the positive learnings, disperse the remaining unresourceful elements.

Associate them into a state of confidence. Bring memories of events where they felt coinfident. Anchor it. Map that onto the context where they felt afraid.:)

Reply to How to Teach Someone to Let Go of Their Fears

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